My family are amazing. I cannot believe the stuff that gets thrown at us, and the way we support each other with love, and laughter. My mum is going through a crazy ride at the moment, and she still manages to make me laugh until there’s tears, often at the one thing that I’m trying to forget- her cancer.

It doesn’t matter if I’m really depressed, really anxious, really suicidal and struggling a hell of a lot with the voice after any intake or meds or anything that is good for me (all of these things I have been trying to hide alot lately. I try and time my breakdowns to the middle of the night, alone in my room), anyway I have a reason to try and bury all that as much as I can- special time with family.

And friends- they are just as important. I had plans to see some last Sunday. And was really looking forward to it, as I haven’t seen them for awhile. But something came up (and it wasn’t that I couldn’t get out of bed). Amy took me to see The Wizard of Oz at QPAC and it was an amazing production and put my bad thoughts on pause and it was great to just have time to chat and spend time with Amy over an “Ozmapolitan” (and much gushing over the star of the show, the dog who played Toto!)

Last Friday Mum got disconnected from her chemo, her second cycle/week, and although this time afterwards was when she really suffered last round, she is again- but I think she’s handling it a little better this time? My aunt from Bondi came up to stay the night with us which was lovely and she introduced us to sparkling coconut water. Yum.

Also on Friday I caught up with my friend Pete to see another friend who was on at the Sit Down, Braschy. It was SO good to see them and I met some new people too which is always an accomplishment. When you’re feeling so rotten inside you expect people to see you that way too, and it always shocks me when they don’t!

Upcoming:

• catch up with friends I had to bail on on Sunday
• see if I’m free for a fundraiser night happening at the Sit Down for Beyond Blue coming up (please, check if you’re free, and if you are go! It’s a fantastic lineup of comedy for an amazing cause and I can promise you will have a great night! And feel good about donating to such a worthy cause, too.)
• shop headwear with Mum (the consultant was adamant that Mum wouldn’t lose her hair with the chemo- which is the main reason it’s so horrible that it IS happening)
• update my diary- I’ve really fallen behind
• finish watching the great number of tv shows I have going on at the moment
• find out when the new Murder On The Orient Express movie is released
• but first, take some meds- because writing this wasn’t as calming as I thought it would be and I need to calm before things get worse… I need to look after myself as much as I can.
• then to finally watch a few more episodes of Gossip Girl with a coffee, which I am on the home stretch of. I simply cannot start watching something and not finish it. Is that just me? Anyway-
• also back to yoga this week! A must.