Here’s to \ensure\ you’re as stressed as you can be.

I’m going to tell you something really exciting. Ready? The Brisbane Comedy Festival is coming to the Powerhouse for another year (and I haven’t been well enough to go since 2015!), and the Sit Down Comedy Fringe Festival is debuting for the first time. I’m excited about both. So excited about the Powerhouse, that I’ve fit three shows into two nights and I’m going to stay in an apartment in the city to make things easier. Each night I’m going with a different couple of friends, and one of them I haven’t seen for years, so we’re having a catch up and it’s going to be great. What better to do together than take in a little live standup?

So, at the current time, I’ve booked three shows at the Powerhouse (Damien Power, Melinda Buttle and Joe Shaffer), and am definately going to see Paul Brasch’s Rock n Roll Part 1 at the Sit Down but haven’t settled on a date yet. The Young Guns looks like an intertaining few nights, I don’t recognize all the names on the line ups which makes me curious and the premise of the nights exciting.

All of this I organized because I recognized that I was getting more unwell as the days went on. The voice is bad, my nights are non existant, I’m literally living on coffee (well, not after my meeting today with my case manager- I’m starting on tube feeds again because I’m starting to get medically compromised (“and it’s obvious you can’t think properly”) (rude!). The thing is, we ran out of fortisips so until we can get another script for Nutricia who supplies what we need- we will also need some tubes and supplies too- we’re just making up Ensure which gives me flashbacks to being in hospital in Sydney where those were their nutridrink of choice. At the moment it’s bolus feeds until maybe? we might be setting up overnights.) and I’m dissociating to the point of acting on suicidal thoughts, like when I took an overdose on Monday. It was okay, because we were able to weather things at home and not present to ED (that’s one time I was glad we had leftover NG tubes in the house) as we were able to keep an eye on my BSL which improved after a bit of ensure a few times. Which made me stressed beyond words, but I didn’t have to go to the hospital. A little blessing in disguise as something horrible…

Mum had her really, really good friend fly up from Sydney to spend the day with her, which was so much fun. We had coffee and breakfast at our fave cafe, DBAR, then they went to a spa on the coast to get a treatment package, while Dad took me to Robina for a little bit of a shop- I got alot done, and it was nice to spend time with Dad. We then met back up for coffee and lunch at Coolangatta Surf Club and then it was time for her flight back, and it was sad to watch them say goodbye, but I have a feeling we’ll see her again in the future. Monday was the anniversary of when they met 39 years ago to start nursing. Isn’t it funny that she came down the day after? It is so nice to see mum spending time with all of her friends. We’re unsure if chemo is starting again after she goes for a CT then sees the oncologist afterwards- but it wasn’t expected last time she was reviewed and they did indeed give her a couple of more rounds, so who knows what will happen. All we can do is live life as best we can, together, and make the most of every day.

Oh boy, I was meant to go to yoga in half an hour. I’m not well enough. I was definately not well enough Monday either so I have only practiced at home this week. Hopefully after a little nutrition over the next few days, all will be good to start again next week. I’ve got to think of reasons like that, and seeing my friends on Sunday, to get me through having to get my intake happening again.

I’m almost finished watching every episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm and it’s been great. My favourite thing is the guest stars (Ted Dansen and Mary Steenbergen are wonderful time after time), especially the Seinfeld cast. Because come on, who didn’t love Seinfeld? Another thing, speaking Seinfeld, is the fact we’ve finally gotten Comedians in Cars getting Coffee on Aus Netflix and I’m LOVING it.

Look, it’s no secret that I was having a bad day today. And mum went out to a lunch with our friends while I opted out in favour of having a rest and trying to destress. But she came home with a belated birthday gift for me from them, and it’s totally made me smile. They gave me the sweetest footed teacup and inside was a $50 gift card to (you guessed it) T2, one of my fave shops. Aren’t they lovely? Don’t they know me so well? Well, they do, and I’m very very thankful.

I’m going to go, and get a walk around the lake in before I have to face reality tonight. That sounds good, doesn’t it? Sorry, it’s just going to be me!

FYI I wrote this (on my new Microsoft Surface Notebook which is beyond amazing) listening to the Black Panther soundtrack which I’m loving at the moment. Go check it out here on spotify

If you’re reading this, thank you. I’m still not sure what I’m doing here, but the writing, and being honest about life (to a fault) has been therapeutic and I hope to find out what I’m doing one day soon!

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