A bonsai called David

Yesterday, after 51 days, I was once again discharged from hospital- even though everyone was resigned to the fact I’m not at all ready for it (my mood hits the lowest lows these days and I’m still struggling with my eating disorder) they still all agreed I needed to be at home the present moment.

That is due to the fact that, and I struggle with talking about this but am hopeful writing will be a little easier, my mum has gone downhill rapidly and two mondays ago was given weeks. So of course, I NEED to be at home with my family and I’ve just got to try my best to cooperate with everything and really, really try to accept the help that is being offered to me. That’s harder than it seems because my case manager and community psychiatrist are both away for another week or two. (yeah, I know, perfect timing, right? Though I admit that if they were here I wouldn’t want to see them anyway.)

So I’ve done the unpacking thing and my room looks semi decent again and honestly it’s so good to be back in my own space. I can’t thank those that supported me through this admission, and mums latest news, I’m so appreciative it just brings a tear to my eye, I’ve got so much love in my life, I just need to realize that more often and get on with things.

My brother and his fiancé are having a ceremony a week from now, they’ll still be having the late October one but they managed to organize a lovely and special sounding afternoon at the same venue and I think they’re just the sweetest for doing it ❤

Also next week is a KILLER, and I say KILLER, few nights at the Sit Down. I’m saying, just for a start- Daniel Townes as headliner and Damien Power as MC. Need I say more? No, but I’m sure the whole lineup is going to be great. I’m not feeling at all like stepping out at the moment, but apart from a couple of friends I want to catch up with, this sure is tempting.

I was practicing so many techniques to distract in hospital, too many to list, but about a week ago my brother clicked on to the fact that gaming might be a good idea- and that the hospital would let me have an Nintendo Switch, and it has proved SO useful. I get so distracted- more so I think than when I would watch DVDs even. So if you yourself are looking for a great distraction tool- the Switch is highly recommend. And if you’re already onto it, game recs are more than welcome!

Also I absolutely have to share the story of one of my favourite nurses bringing in a bonsai for me! We repotted it and trimmed its roots and wired it and everything and I got to bring it home, and I am so excited to look after it. It’s meant to be a easy species to keep alive! It was such a lovely thing, for him to pass on his knowledge and spend some time teaching me about the art. Cause he knows his stuff!

Anyway please cross your fingers I am at home for more than a week this time before an admission! Cross your fingers for no more admissions ever! I’m having a week to recover and then I am dying to get back into yoga, and walks, and gardening etc. – things to help quieten the mind and bring on peaceful moments in between all the traffic in my mind.

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