Coffee lover who wants to live, not just exist.
If you don’t feel normal, fake it. My mum said words to this effect years ago and they’ve really helped me through some tough times and situations. I wish she were here now to see me trying my best in all areas of my life, because I am. I’m really really trying to hold things together and step out of my comfort zone in order to reach for my goals, even if I have to fake it most of the time!
FIRST THINGS FIRST: I’M AT HOME!
I know it’s been awhile but I haven’t been well. I made it to the wedding (!) and it was so absolutely lovely to be around close family and friends and I just feel so honoured to have been there and to witness the squishing together of two of my absolutely favourite people in my life.
I don’t know exactly what to say at the moment because everything seems to be getting worse as time passes and I don’t want a terribly negative post but I have been asked for an update! So read on if you want to, but if you don’t I understand.
DO NOT give up on life throwing you around. Ignore the bad thoughts you have to spend an insane amount of time on… grab on to what you need. You have to fight, to say no. Also comparison, it only sets fuel to the fire of self hate which gets you nowhere. Love each memory: each smile, each laugh, each sparkle. Don’t forget to grab some this time for you, because you will need relaxation and reflection time, just for you. Read More
Last week has been a rollercoaster ride for everyone. And a couple of ambulance ones for me. I’ve dissociated the last Thursday and Friday nights. As if coming “free” of these times of dissociation and feeling totally out of it wasn’t enough, it’s working out my last steps for clues about what’s happened.
TW for the next little while… Read More
I can’t get over this week. It’s been one hell of a week, and I’ve only been out of hospital 10 days. It’s been crazy busy. And so very exhausting, but I wouldn’t change it for the world, being at home is just wonderful (I wouldn’t mind changing the frequency of my dissociations, or the constant barrage of the voice, or the fact that I have to take my meds and feeds because that was a dependent factor of my discharge. It sucks, because doing both these things distress me so.)
