I didn’t come this far, to only come this far.

Oh my gosh. It has been a long time since I’ve updated this blog. It’s been a long time since I’ve had the chance, but now I do, and it’s probably time for an update. At the moment I am in the midst of a major life change- read on if you want to know more.

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No rain, no flowers.

I thought that I should do a short update because it’s been a little while. Things are happening that are out of my control, and that’s scary. But it’s not permanent.

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Don’t be afraid to be different, y’all

Things have been pretty much going downhill for awhile now but I can see that (when it’s usually difficult for me to see) and I want to change the course of things (if not for me but my family and friends.)

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ACTing like I’m fine, as per usual.

If you don’t feel normal, fake it. My mum said words to this effect years ago and they’ve really helped me through some tough times and situations. I wish she were here now to see me trying my best in all areas of my life, because I am. I’m really really trying to hold things together and step out of my comfort zone in order to reach for my goals, even if I have to fake it most of the time!

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so broken but so blessed.

I know it’s been awhile but I haven’t been well. I made it to the wedding (!) and it was so absolutely lovely to be around close family and friends and I just feel so honoured to have been there and to witness the love of two of my absolutely favourite people in my life.

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Dissociation: the facts

Last week has been a rollercoaster ride for everyone. And a couple of ambulance ones for me. I’ve dissociated the last Thursday and Friday nights. As if coming “free” of these times of dissociation and feeling totally out of it wasn’t enough, it’s working out my last steps for clues about what’s happened.

TW for the next little while… Read More

Eating Disorders Inc

Today is week 3, day 3 of this admission and this time I haven’t stepped foot out of the hospital doors. It’s even looking like it may be a little while more before that happens. I’m not “medically stable” enough, the treatment team are saying, even if I was mentally okay (which if I’m honest with myself, I’m not.) Because, if you can believe it, they are talking chronic starvation. Read More