Yesterday afternoon I did it! I honoured my word that I would go to my good friend Brentons going away drinks and I was there on time with bells on. Yes I was nervous but friends showed up and it was amazing to see them and they seemed happy to see me, which surprises me but makes me feel loved anyway. These are my friends. Who I was seeing for the first time this year! Nothing could go wrong, right?
Yesterday I got to yoga about 20 minutes early, and there was no-one there yet. The studio was open and I got to the door, and I just stopped. Was this a test? It felt like it. Was there a meaning to where I decided to lay my mat, when I could have any position in the room? Would other people think anything of where I chose when they arrived? I would, and my mind was spinning. Where should I choose to spend the class? …
Today has been THE day. I spent until 2pm in bed. I bought new linen @ Adairs yesterday (I highly recommend the Linen Lovers club, if you’re an, ahem, linen lover, like me) and today I had NO appointments, no friends to meet, nothing to get done- so I spent all day in bed, except for when I had to get up to go to my Dad’s birthday dinner this evening. He chose a local place, we got a table next door to the childrens room, I had a subsequent couple of ciders- all was good. It was okay.
Everything these days is go, go, go. This week has been so FULL. Not much home time at all. And while I am not complaining, because I’ve gotten to spend time with Mum and family and friends (and get lots of appointments over and done with), I think it’s important for everyone to acknowledge that you need that time where you can sit down and do whatever you want to do without thinking about all the things you have to do and the places you have to go. Just take the time to watch an episode of Comedians in Cars getting Coffee (yes! it’s finally on Australian Netflix!). Just take the time to read a chapter of your book. Just take the time to update your diary or journal. Just take the time to duck out for that yoga class. Just take the time to give yourself a manicure. These little acts of self care are important for your mental health and I am slowly training myself to spend more time on the little things.
A lot has happened since I last posted. I am deteriorating but I’m going to focus on the good things that have happened in the last month or so, not the sad things (like the fact I didn’t get a porg for Christmas.)