Tag: depression

If you don’t love me in my relapse, you don’t deserve me after my recovery.

I’ve done it! I’m officially halfway through my treatment (the doctor who was on this morning was telling me) and we’ve managed, with the help of the hospital, to do it as an outpatient. And Mum hasn’t been too well lately, so I’ve been really, really appreciative of being able to just leave recovery after treatments three times a week, and come home with her! It’s so much better than trying to arrange leave from inpatient- what with all the restrictions they put on me (and I usually end up going backwards when I try to manage in hospital).

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ECT, ETC

Today was really hard. The next few weeks are going to be really, really hard. But I got through today, when I thought I wouldn’t, and that gives me the strength to get through tomorrow.

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Life: tragic, or a little bit magic?

This question has been going around and around my head for a few weeks now. I’ve been in a constant state of trying to decide is life really is magic, or if it’s simply tragic. If I had to choose one of these two words to describe life, which would I choose? It’s a hard question for me, as by default I would go for tragic, but then there are little moments that are without a doubt more on the side of magic. These past couple of weeks have been a perfect example of my conundrum.

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But first, coffee… no, I mean recovery.

Things aren’t going too well. I’m still struggling so much. I don’t know what to do. As I established last post, there’s not much i can do except try my hardest to continue with the plans we’d put into place already. I’ve been really, really big on distraction the last couple of days. There are a few things I am doing to keep my mind busy.

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something else.

As I sit here (watching Jane the Virgin and scrolling listlessly through my tumblr dash) I’m trying to think what else I can do to bring me out of this lapse. What else? I’ve already done so much, but there must be something else that I can do, right? There’s always something else. There’s got to be something else. Maybe I should visit what I’ve already done and go from there. Read More