I know it’s been awhile but I haven’t been well. I made it to the wedding (!) and it was so absolutely lovely to be around close family and friends and I just feel so honoured to have been there and to witness the love of two of my absolutely favourite people in my life.
I don’t know exactly what to say at the moment because everything seems to be getting worse as time passes and I don’t want a terribly negative post but I have been asked for an update! So read on if you want to, but if you don’t I understand.
Last week has been a rollercoaster ride for everyone. And a couple of ambulance ones for me. I’ve dissociated the last Thursday and Friday nights. As if coming “free” of these times of dissociation and feeling totally out of it wasn’t enough, it’s working out my last steps for clues about what’s happened.
TW for the next little while… Read More
I can’t get over this week. It’s been one hell of a week, and I’ve only been out of hospital 10 days. It’s been crazy busy. And so very exhausting, but I wouldn’t change it for the world, being at home is just wonderful (I wouldn’t mind changing the frequency of my dissociations, or the constant barrage of the voice, or the fact that I have to take my meds and feeds because that was a dependent factor of my discharge. It sucks, because doing both these things distress me so.)
Yesterday, after 51 days, I was once again discharged from hospital- even though everyone was resigned to the fact I’m not at all ready for it (my mood hits the lowest lows these days and I’m still struggling with my eating disorder) they still all agreed I needed to be at home the present moment.