Ketamine troubles.
So I was asked to update on my situation and I realize it has been quite awhile. Things have been hard.
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Tag: hospital
ACTing like I’m fine, as per usual.
If you don’t feel normal, fake it. My mum said words to this effect years ago and they’ve really helped me through some tough times and situations. I wish she were here now to see me trying my best in all areas of my life, because I am. I’m really really trying to hold things together and step out of my comfort zone in order to reach for my goals, even if I have to fake it most of the time!
It’s Friday, and I’ll cry if I want to.
FIRST THINGS FIRST: I’M AT HOME!
so broken but so blessed.
I know it’s been awhile but I haven’t been well. I made it to the wedding (!) and it was so absolutely lovely to be around close family and friends and I just feel so honoured to have been there and to witness the squishing together of two of my absolutely favourite people in my life.
When it rains, it pours.
I don’t know exactly what to say at the moment because everything seems to be getting worse as time passes and I don’t want a terribly negative post but I have been asked for an update! So read on if you want to, but if you don’t I understand.
To do: live in the moment
I can’t get over this week. It’s been one hell of a week, and I’ve only been out of hospital 10 days. It’s been crazy busy. And so very exhausting, but I wouldn’t change it for the world, being at home is just wonderful (I wouldn’t mind changing the frequency of my dissociations, or the constant barrage of the voice, or the fact that I have to take my meds and feeds because that was a dependent factor of my discharge. It sucks, because doing both these things distress me so.)
A bonsai called David
Yesterday, after 51 days, I was once again discharged from hospital- even though everyone was resigned to the fact I’m not at all ready for it (my mood hits the lowest lows these days and I’m still struggling with my eating disorder) they still all agreed I needed to be at home the present moment.
