Things have been pretty much going downhill for awhile now but I can see that (when it’s usually difficult for me to see) and I want to change the course of things (if not for me but my family and friends.)
So I was asked to update on my situation and I realize it has been quite awhile. Things have been hard.
If you don’t feel normal, fake it. My mum said words to this effect years ago and they’ve really helped me through some tough times and situations. I wish she were here now to see me trying my best in all areas of my life, because I am. I’m really really trying to hold things together and step out of my comfort zone in order to reach for my goals, even if I have to fake it most of the time!
FIRST THINGS FIRST: I’M AT HOME!
I know it’s been awhile but I haven’t been well. I made it to the wedding (!) and it was so absolutely lovely to be around close family and friends and I just feel so honoured to have been there and to witness the love of two of my absolutely favourite people in my life.
I don’t know exactly what to say at the moment because everything seems to be getting worse as time passes and I don’t want a terribly negative post but I have been asked for an update! So read on if you want to, but if you don’t I understand.
I can’t get over this week. It’s been one hell of a week, and I’ve only been out of hospital 10 days. It’s been crazy busy. And so very exhausting, but I wouldn’t change it for the world, being at home is just wonderful (I wouldn’t mind changing the frequency of my dissociations, or the constant barrage of the voice, or the fact that I have to take my meds and feeds because that was a dependent factor of my discharge. It sucks, because doing both these things distress me so.)