Caffeine, for goodness sake…

I lost my raindrop ring on a night out at the Sit Down so I’ve finally replaced it, when I bought Mum a maman ring for her birthday. I really appreciate wearing the raindrop ring because like as it says on the description, it represents hope, beginnings and renewal… a reminder of the beauty and natural cycle of life.

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Nearly finished

Well, I’m down to three ECT left. I should be done by early next week. Yesterday I had a day off because it was Mums oncology clinic appointment and I went with her to support. TBH I’m glad I had a day off because I’m starting to get scared doing it and this time round, I’m also having a lot more memory problems. It’s really difficult and I just really don’t want to complete the course.

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If you don’t love me in my relapse, you don’t deserve me after my recovery.

I’ve done it! I’m officially halfway through my treatment (the doctor who was on this morning was telling me) and we’ve managed, with the help of the hospital, to do it as an outpatient. And Mum hasn’t been too well lately, so I’ve been really, really appreciative of being able to just leave recovery after treatments three times a week, and come home with her! It’s so much better than trying to arrange leave from inpatient- what with all the restrictions they put on me (and I usually end up going backwards when I try to manage in hospital).

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ECT, ETC

Today was really hard. The next few weeks are going to be really, really hard. But I got through today, when I thought I wouldn’t, and that gives me the strength to get through tomorrow.

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Life: tragic, or a little bit magic?

This question has been going around and around my head for a few weeks now. I’ve been in a constant state of trying to decide is life really is magic, or if it’s simply tragic. If I had to choose one of these two words to describe life, which would I choose? It’s a hard question for me, as by default I would go for tragic, but then there are little moments that are without a doubt more on the side of magic. These past couple of weeks have been a perfect example of my conundrum.

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Field of Dreams

Everything here has been a little depressing lately (because life is a little depressing lately) so I wanted to share a story about my first hospital admission that my family can look back on and laugh about, when reality is, that time was very horrible. But there are always little things that you have to see the funny side of. This is one of those things.

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But first, coffee… no, I mean recovery.

Things aren’t going too well. I’m still struggling so much. I don’t know what to do. As I established last post, there’s not much i can do except try my hardest to continue with the plans we’d put into place already. I’ve been really, really big on distraction the last couple of days. There are a few things I am doing to keep my mind busy.

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